Battle & Villages Lions Club

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May Business Meeting

No new blood!!! No younger members!!! Just the usual band of boring old farts gathered round the table having a whinge about the lack of public support!!! Still trying to give away money to charitable causes that don’t want to tell us what they need!!! Members moaning that charities don’t answer their phone calls!!! Buying a second round because they don’t want to go home early in case her indoors wants to know why you went anyway!!! Bob woofing a pot of nuts that he’s not allowed to eat at home!!! What a yawn!!! Sounds like the usual Lions meeting!!!!

Or was it!!! Lets start again!!!

OK, there were a couple of apologies, and being the smallest club in the region you couldn’t expect a multitude!!! And there were the eight stalwarts there!!! And two of those aren’t collecting their pensions yet and the rest of us still think (and act like) we are still 30 year olds!!! And moaning about lack of public support!!!! Bull****!!! (Well a minister used that word on tele!!!)

The first thing we talked about was the record £1004 pounds profit made for our charitable causes from the 15 local inns and clubs whose owners and staff support us year after year on our Easter Egg Draw. And then we topped it of by reporting a £133 profit after spending an afternoon enjoying ourselves at Bexhill’s May Fair with our China Smashing Stall. Well Wendy wanted some new china for their new house, but did she really have to line up all John’s favourite bits without telling him!!!

Then there was the report highlighting the success of our 23rd Anniversary Charter Lunch at the Bannatyne Spa Hotel the previous Sunday where we were outnumbered 4 to 1 by our guests, some from as far away as the Thames coast!!! Did they need passports to get there? Did Bob really drive all the way home without Margaret killing him for spilling wine on his shirt again!!!

The Treasurers wiped the grease off his hands, licked his tongue round his pencil, rolled his eyes and gave a report was short and succinct. We aint broke and we gave some money away!!! Actually he did make it a bit more detailed than that. The Admin Account is healthy, our Charter lunch didn’t make a loss, and he doesn’t want to rob us of any more for subs. Last month we gave £1000 to Wealden Talking News who are appealing for funds to update their aging studio that supports the blind and partially sighted. We gave £100 to St Michaels Hospice in memory of Len Payne (no, I know you didn’t know him but we did).We paid our share or the bill for It’s a Special Knockout – that we put on annually with other local Lions Clubs for the handicapped and disadvantaged, which was again a runaway success. We are buying a whiteboard for Salehurst School (no, I don’t know what it is either, but it’s essential and its aids the children). And we still have “tons of dosh” in the Charity Account to give away to needy causes (if we can find any!) as well!!!

Then there was a lot of waffle about things we were doing to raise money. All the usual – China Smashing Stall to some fetes (can’t someone else fit a towbar), Children in Need quiz night (I’m going to sort out some real b*****d questions this year), and the cream of our year – the September Go Kart Endurance Race (entries coming in will need sifting – I want to win).

There was the social report from John (he does go on a bit when he hasn’t got his hearing aid in), about our forthcoming Pie Dinner Evening (does cow pie mean a whole cow?), and going Dog Racing (my wife says I have already gone there).

Finally there was any other business, Wendy rabbiting about some plonker saying we mustn’t use our “Every Penny Counts” cards in case we are sued for spending money to raise funds for charity and Paul talking about Prostrate Awareness (it was only because both pints had gone through and he needed to go somewhere)

Yes, we do need more members. Yes, we do raise a lot of money for good causes. Yes, we do have fun. Yes, you could join us and have a lot of fun doing something really worthwhile, giving service to the community. We are small (but perfectly formed), friendly (most of the time), and need your support. Why not join and have a whale of a time!! Come and meet us on the second Monday of each month at 8pm at The Royal Oak Public House at Whatlington.

England and Wales charity no. 1080347
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